The Key to Happy Relationships: Expectation

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I believe the key to happy relationships, not just romantic, lies in realistic expectations. There are a lot of other factors of course. Love, trust, mutual respect, gratitude, but I believe these other aspects of loving relationships are easier to maintain with a realistic attitude about what to expect from other people.

-I think gratitude, being grateful and appreciative of the people in our lives and what they offer us, is essential for feeling happy with the relationship. So appreciating what is offered to us and showing that not only makes us happier, but makes the other person in the relationship happy and makes us ultimately more deserving and receptive of their love and respect and the other gifts they offer us.

-When it comes to relationships, especially romantic relationships, I think a lot of us have a mental list that maybe we aren't even completely consciously aware of. A list of requirements that we feel must be met before we'll even consider the possibility of starting a relationship, which can lead to missed opportunities for love and friendship. It also exists in the back of our minds in the course of a relationship and when we feel the expectations and "requirements" we have for that person aren't being met, we're unhappy. Some of our expectations are reasonable and fair, but others aren't realistic and are bound to lead to disappointment and unhappiness.

-The biggest unrealistic and unfair expectation I think we put on our loved ones is the expectation that this person will never make a mistake, never hurt us, never let us down, and that's just not something anyone can live up to. We're all only human. I just think it's important for our own happiness and contentment in our love lives and other relationships that we don't let things like our grumpy significant other snapping at us after a bad day devastate us too much and let us believe there is something wrong with our relationship or the person we're involved with. There's always going to be a problem if we're looking for one.

-I firmly believe that we are all responsible for our own happiness and putting that power in another's hands is unwise and bound to lead to disappointment. I'm not suggesting being a doormat, but by focusing on ourselves, we make ourselves happy and our loved ones as well. We also make ourselves more deserving of respect and love when we love and respect ourselves.