Tips for Rebuilding Self Confidence

Our egos are pretty fragile. Some people seem to bounce back more easily than others after taking a hit to their confidence, some of us need a little reminder of how to get back to our old selves. I'll admit to having read a few things on how to improve your confidence. Some of the advice was helpful, some not so much and I've sometimes gotten the impression that the author of the article hasn't really gone through using their own advice.

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Here are some things that have worked for me on rebuilding my confidence when I'm in a funk and some things I really don't recommend for feeling good about yourself in the long run. 

• One tip you'll hear a lot that I do agree is helpful is focusing on what you like about yourself and what you are good at. Sometimes it's hard to think of what you're good at because of standards we set on what qualifies, but it doesn't have to be that you're an awesome sewer or whatever. You can focus on traits that you like about yourself like your loyalty and being a good listener. There are awesome things about you that you are proud of when you really start to think about it. Don't ask anyone else to tell you what's good about you. It's important to focus on what you like about you if you are hoping to improve your own thoughts about yourself.

• Don't compromise your integrity, who you are, or what you stand for because of the hope of a temporary boost in confidence. Don't change yourself for anyone else and don't make changes that you feel aren't contributing to your own growth to gain anyone's approval. Any sense of confidence that may come from that isn't real and you'll likely feel worse because any praise or approval you get from anyone else when you aren't being yourself doesn't serve you and you'll realize not being you won't make you feel better about you. 

• Make positive changes for your own well being and work on reaching your goals. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as reveling in the awesome feeling of accomplishing something you worked hard for will contribute to a great sense of self worth. 

• On the other hand, don't beat yourself up too much over failures and mistakes. Learn what you can from the experience and move on vowing to do better next time. We're all our own biggest critics, but we're also all only human. So forgive yourself for your mistakes. 

• Don't allow other people to control the way you feel about you. You are the only one who can affect your actions and the way you feel about yourself, so if you let yourself get too caught up in what other people think about you good or bad, you give up that power over yourself and you'll find yourself on an emotional roller coaster. If you feel amazing today because of a compliment from someone else, you may feel terrible tomorrow because of a criticism. We all walk this world with our own values and our own perception of the world and our own reality, so why worry too much about what other people think of you? Only you can determine what's best for you and how you should live your life.